Saturday 13 October 2018


I was on my own this morning, it meant my mind wandered as the miles passed under my wheels.
I was headed for the churchyard, the long way. I needed quiet roads, you can't switch off but you can chill out. Nearing the end of the lane I came across a fallen tree, it completely blocked the road.

fallen tree cycling

I had a choice, try to pass through or under it or turn around. It wasn't too difficult to pick my way through and I was quickly on my way

It got me thinking about life and the many barriers we face. They aren't all physical.

Some are for good reason, rules and laws are there to protect us and set limits.

Then there are those set by people to bar entry or achievement of others.

Both of these forms of barrier can be challenged if they are unfair or discriminatory, people can do it on their own or get together in groups. It's not easy but we do live in a country that allows it. I'm thankful for the struggles of others who have ensured this is the case.

The hardest barriers to conqueror may be those we create ourselves. Those voices that say we can't do something, or we don't deserve it, we're not good enough. I have many and each one I struggle with almost daily. It's tough because I don't talk about them, I don't want to be a burden or bother people. There is a worry I will be judged; damn it's that voice again. Everybody is the same, I guess some deal with it better.

I try not to allow myself the choice to turn around or give up when faced with a barrier; I force myself to attack it head on. My photography is proof of that, and a way to remind me what I can do. Meeting a new person isn't easy, a photoshoot is normally just the subject and me, I get more than just pictures from the session. They show me the voice that says don't do it can be silenced, at least for a while. Each time it gets easier to quieten or ignore it. The barrier gets a little smaller.

With the loud one silenced I can hear the other voices that says I can, I deserve it, I am good enough. Why are they so small and quiet most of the time?

With each victory over the louder voices my goals become a little more achievable, it might still be a struggle.

But it is possible.

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