The good bit; I saw mum, my sister and family, I even cycled over there. Really pleased that I did, not only because I haven't seen them for six months. It was also nearly as fast as driving would have been; heavy traffic most of the way. It was great riding past so many stationary cars. I didn't get soaked until the homeward journey. I think just over an hour on my mountain bike covering 15 miles each way is very satisfactory.
The bad bit; starting on Friday I didn't sleep much, I was tired, but just couldn't let go. I don't know what I was thinking or worried about that kept me awake.
I tried a hot drink, reading, just laying in bed staring at the ceiling was never going to work. Sunday was an early start, I had arranged a sportive, the subject of a previous post. I enjoyed the ride, but wasn't that feed up that it ended early. I even gave my bike a thorough clean when I got home. If only I hadn't lost my gloves. Probably left on the wall when we stopped to assess the failed brakes.
But when Monday rolled round, I was knackered and feeling very low. I survived the week, gradually feeling better each day. More in this post.
There is a voice that tells me I did well, but I ignore it. The other voice saying the opposite is much more persuasive. I have to listen to the positive one.
I need to give myself a break, not be so critical. And accept praise when it comes my way.
There are other parts to this: imposter syndrome, always being convinced I just said something that will make people avoid or dislike me, being over critical, over thinking.
I know most people experience these from time to time; they can't be allowed to dominate, that's my problem.
