Tuesday 9 May 2023


chipstead cycling at the bank holiday

The weather has improved, so I'm riding more. I've got plans for adventures on my bike. So why am I unsure about my motives?

Let me explain.

I love riding my bike, both on my own and with others. I enjoy the feeling of achievement when I push myself. Chatting to others. The look of amazement when I tell non cyclists how far I've gone. Keeping fit. I can forget my worries for a while.


I worry it's too big a part of who I am, how I see myself. That it defines me. 

Am I forcing myself to ride further, faster, everyday because I don't have anything else?

I know I have great family and friends and that they allow me to by who I want. And to ride as much as I need.

Lately though I have been questioning how much time I devote to it.

I'm conflicted; every ride seems to need a purpose. Whereas it use to be enough just to get out. I didn't really think about how far or how long.

Part of me says go for a few hours, another counters with "that's too far" or "that's not far enough". 

Yesterday was a case in point; a bank holiday. Where to go, should I stop at a cafe, another big ride or keep it short?

In the end I settled for 36 miles, with a stop at a new to me cafe. It's part of a winey/brewery. It was nice to sit and relax. 

coffee and cycling

The clouds looked threatening, but it wasn't cold so all was almost right with the world. Unfortunately the coffee was dreadful. It tasted like a bad instant, which was disappointing because it came from a proper machine.

I think from now on I'll just be more relaxed about the whole thing. I will be slower too, I do very quickly fall into a habit of pressing hard on the pedals too much of the time. I have to remind myself to do this as I ride. I don't need to feel exhausted everytime I get home.