Sunday 31 December 2023
Life is tough. It can be hard to cope. It can feel like you have no control or influence.
Part of how I made a change was to remove negativity.
Social media was a big factor. It's too easy to follow a downward spiral of reading and engaging in other people's problems. I don't mean ignore their pleas for help or support though. I don't get involved in the arguments they have, the promotion of only the dark side of every situation.
I don't participate in group discussions about others. If their actions or inactions cause stress then time I spend talking is unproductive. It perpetuates that negativity, so I don't invest my energy.
It's not easy to change, it took many years.
This blog helped me to see it, and slowly alter my internal monologue.
My process for a post is to start with a title and then random sentences. I'll often leave it and return a number of times over a week or sometimes longer. Slowly it will make sense and have a structure. I try not to make it into a list of actions or instructions.
As I read, alter and re-read it I remove negativity. The first time I wrote about my depression was here. It was a watershed moment. It allowed me to really think about the direction I was going. To reflect on what I allowed my inner voice to say.
I've written many since then. Link.
Gradually I noticed a change in what I wrote and thought. I had slowly reprogrammed myself. I still have dark moments, days or weeks. But I don't feed them by seeking out anything that might reinforce those feelings.