Saturday 13 February 2021

When it gets too heavy

Whilst talking to a friend recently I had cause to look back and think how far I had come from the feelings of total exhaustion prior to Jan 2020.

I realised that I had changed from always seeing the negative in what I said, did and heard. Constantly adding more pressure onto myself. I now have more energy. It's wasn't just physical tiredness. My mind wouldn't, or couldn't switch off. It felt like a physical weight, a restriction at every joint, and a dull ache in my muscles.

There were days when it wasn't this way, but not many. Now less days have me looking forward to going back to sleep the moment I wake.

Contrary to what you might think, cycling and expending energy has been a big part of this change. After a ride I am energised, and my mood is lifted. I sleep better - a major improvement - which aids my ability to cope.

I returned to cycling as an adult about fifteen years ago. I live on the top of a hill, so every return journey had me pushing the bike up those final hills. I'd ride as far as I could before the world started to go grey. Each week this would happen a few feet further up the hill, I'd set a target of one more lampost. Eventually I completed the climb without getting off.

That's how I deal with other challenges. Break it down into smaller tasks, and be satisfied at the completion of each of them. And ask for help.

When it gets too heavy, share the load.