A Giant upgrade

My Giant Defy 3 needed some upgrades. It’s a fairly light road bike. But the brakes were very poor so the Shimano Tiagra’s improved safety.

It now has new wheels, Vision 35’s. They are lighter than the originals, more aerodynamic and should improve the braking.

I thought aero wasn't going to be a big factor for me; I don't travel very fast. At just 10 mph though, aerodynamic drag uses half the power you produce. To double that speed, you need to produce eight time more power. My average speed is around 14 - 16 mph, maybe I can improve that a little. The biggest generator of air resistance is me, but the bike contributes about 30 percent. These new wheels will help to reduce it a little. There are plenty of hills where I live, being lighter will help with climbing.

I want to do more longer rides this year, like Caterham to Canterbury, and better my Waller Hill climb time.

I think I might be starting to take this cycling lark a bit seriously?

It's becoming a bit more than just a way to keep fit and socialise. Almost any bike will allow me to do both. Crucially though, going faster will mean I can go further in the same time; part of the motivation is getting to new places. Hopefully this will help me increase the number of rides I do in a year.

My bike has much upgrade potential; how far will I go? I don't think much further; increased performance costs money. Colin Chapman of Lotus said to go faster, add lightness. I could lose a few pounds now that Christmas is over. There are still chocolates and cake in the house though, I can't throw them away can I? Once they are gone, I'll try to slim down.

As I wrote this, it occurred to me; I might have a summer/good weather bike.
I never bought into the winter bike, one that you didn't mind being assaulted by the dirt and harsh weather. My bikes have to survive anything I throw at them.
But now it looks too nice to ride at this time of year. The mountain bike will have to cope.

When I got the bike back from Ross Cycles, it had been cleaned; which was nice. I really will have to keep it that way.

Take a look at the Ross Cycles website, I took the photos for it.

I'll need better weather to explore the improvements, which is a shame. I have started planning the rides. Ditchling Beacon and Leith Hill are on my to-do list.

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Depression, how I cope

I have written a few posts about why I cycle. At first it was to get fit for some charity rides I'd commited to.

Looking after my wife is a big part of my world, and being healthy allows me to be there for her.

Cycling to a pub, or a cafe with friends also helps me cope. For a short time, I'm leading a normal life.

At times it feels like I'm on pause, waiting for the next task. I can't commit to anything, or relax.

So when I do get some time for myself I need to make it count. But then: it rains, I am unwell, joint plans are changed, or a bike lets me down.

I'm left with a hole I can't fill, and reality comes back into focus.

It's nobody's fault, plans change, the British weather is unpredictable. Maybe I can do something about the bikes, clean them more often, let Ross check them over regularly.

I don't think people realise the self induced stress I feel. How could they? I don't say anything.

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and mindfullness sessions have helped. They gave me a perspective that I had lost.

It was exhausting; depression caused me to be angry most of the time. Insomnia made it worse; I still don't get enough sleep. But at least I don't loose a whole night. When I started cycling regularly my sleeping improved. From the moment I get up though; I look forward to going back to bed. I never remember dreams; so for me, sleep is a time when I'm not depressed.

It was also a personal interpretation of a prayer I had read many times that saw me turn a corner. I'm not a religious person, for me it says I don't need to fix or resolve every problem. And not to worry about problems that can't be resolved straight away, or ever.

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

It goes on:

Living one day at a time;

enjoying one moment at a time;

accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it;

trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

that I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

forever in the next.

I don't believe He will make things better, it's my life; only I can can do that.

Social media isn't helpful, there is so much negativity. I rarely get involved in commenting about posts. And if people or groups I follow become part of the problem, then it's goodbye to them.
It's very easy to become overwhelmed, I still am at times. But now I take one day at a time, and prioritise what I deal with.

I have started to conquered my depression.

The best lesson I have learnt. Take control: make decisions, even little ones. It will mean you have made a change, and know more about a situation or problem than you did.

Another is to talk, I'm no good at this one. The therapy sessions are over; who do I speak to? I don't want to be a burden, or worry people. I'm not even sure why I'm writing this.

The good thing is that I have family and friends whom I know are there for me.

Maybe if it helps someone else, that will have been reason enough.

2019

Reading my 2018 review post, I didn't do everything I mentioned.

Motorsport photography was a genre that really started my journey but I haven't added anymore pictures.

It certainly seems I haven't done as much photography this year.

But I think I have made some big steps.

A shoot was published, and proved to me what I am capable of. I put a lot of pressure on myself and was very pleased with the results.

A long term collaboration has started to bear fruit. I first worked with a model and her mum many years ago. I can't believe it been three years.

This year the trust and respect we have built resulted in my working with them on a project for a designer, Jo. The feedback I received was just what I needed. I had started to lose motivation, I wasn't sure where to go.

I am planning a studio day with Alex, I know it will be a big confidence booster. We have worked together this year, the rapport was great. I came away with extra motivation. Next year I want a relaxed day experimenting with lighting. I won't have to worry about lack of time, and I know Alex will be full of ideas.

I have greatly improved the pictures I take when cycling. The 2020 calendar I printed has been very well received, it's a bigger size showing them off better than the previous years.

Next year we'll have to explore more cycling routes, find new destinations. I'll continue getting out, almost, whatever the weather. The weekend before Christmas had terrible wind and rain, and it was very cold; I just couldn't face it on Saturday. I did get out on the Sunday. Over Christmas, I rode whenever possible.

Looking at my cycling app I rode further in 2019. And that's despite not doing RideLondon or Caterham to Canterbury, both big mile days.

Cycling and photography allow me time to myself, to just think about the task at hand. Life can be very hectic, so many tasks and thoughts jostling for my attention. The rides aren't distractions, they're a way to reset, to take a breath.

I intend to do more longer rides next year, and a few focused photoshoots. I look forward to more shoots with the Jo, Saskia and Janice.

I am very pleased with what I have achieved this year, and I'm looking forward to 2020.

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Christmas cycling

Christmas arrived much quicker than expected. Every year it creeps up on me. 

Not exactly the Norwegian tree in Trafalgar Square

Last Saturday was a total lose, strong wind and heavy rain. I have been defiant of the weather this year, rain hasn't forced me to abandon many rides. This time I just couldn't face it. As I typed the abort text to Matt, I was interrupted by the arrival of his.

I went for a walk to my local bike shop, Ross Cycles. He'd also passed on a morning ride; it was an off road route. I can't imagine how muddy it would have been. Or maybe I can; two mates and myself rode the South Downs Way many years ago.

The first day was torture, thick mud all the way, several times we were forced to push our bikes. At one point so much had built up on the wheels they beary turned, I'm sure the bikes had doubled in weight. I don't know how the gears still worked.

Last Sunday I did get out; I waited until the rain had stopped so it was a solo ride. I didn't have much time so it was all close to home.

Back to work Monday and Tuesday, and a ride first thing Christmas day before dinner with the  family.

I went to Smallfields, a village on my route to Brighton. I was surprised to see so many other people out running and riding. Two runners, and five cyclists.

Today was another solo ride, Matt have family stuff to do.

Not cycling related, but a bright beacon on a very grey day.

The weather forecast was for rain all day, but it was just overcast and grey when I woke up. So off to Westerham I went, it's not so hilly as the road to Smallfield, my route yesterday. I had a strong headwind most of the way, which help when it was time to go home. And the rain stayed away, until I left Westerham.

I cycled passed the shopfront above, but turned and stopped for a photograph. This time of year can be very dull, the very expensive chandeliers really stand out.

Foolhardy count; two runners, no cyclists.

I'll have to wait until next weekend for the promised and much anticipated cake.

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initial abort

Yesterday morning, in fact most of the day, the weather was horrendous. Matt beat me to sending the abort text. I didn't mind not going out. I did miss cycling, but it wasn't worth the soaking, freezing conditions.

Today I awoke to similar weather and wasn't surprised to receive another abort text. But I was restless, the weather app said it would stop around eight, so I got up and dressed ready for a ride. I knew if I went out late it would have to a local one. And with the threat of rain, I could get home quickly.

As it turned out, it was a great but lonely ride. On my own there was no reason to stop, just out to Bletchingley after a loop of Happy valley. Eighteen miles wasn't bad considering I was never far from home.

The rain we have been getting wasn't as bad as some have had to endure, but the road flooding is worse than I remember in previous years.

Even going through them at the center of the road results in wet trainers. I wrapped my thermal socked feet in cling film. It seemed to work, I felt the cold water but quickly recovered.

It's worse when a car is coming the other way, if they don't stop I have to use the side of the road. The water is deeper and the bow wave they produce ensures I get even wetter.

Too big to coast through, pedaling gave me wet feet. 

There are some considerate drivers. Stopping to allow me take the crown of the road. Avoiding a worse soaking.

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Only six more sleeps

There was a short window where it didn't rain on Saturday morning, we got out in it. There was a lot of mud and debri on the road and many of the usual puddles. I normally build up momentum and coast through with my feet held high off the pedals. It keeps them fairly dry, but not this morning. I kept to the centre of the road where the water would be at its shallowest. But as I reached the mid way point the depth of the water was such that the bike really slowed down. I thought I'd have to lower my feet and pedal. Luckily I made it through but still had wet trainers. We didn't go much further, just to a church yard at the top of the next hill for our tea stop.

The return journey meant passing through the new Church Lane lake. This time oncoming traffic necessitated more caution and riding closer to the edge of the road. The van did slow down but the bow wave was pretty big and the water much deeper. I also had to pedal, which resulted in soaked feet. It wasn't a cold day so it didn't cause much discomfort. Wet feet are just part of cycling at this time of year. I have said it before; riding through the winter makes me appreciate the warmer months of the year.

I got home, showered and life started; breakfast and shopping. I have printed a few calendars featuring pictures taken over the past few years. Matt will get one tomorrow, I delivered to Ross Cycles on my way to the supermarket.

It is the third year for what is likely to become a very collectable item. The previous two have been desktop A5 size. This time it's wall mount and roughly 8x10, a much better choice.

Saturday night had strong winds and heavy rain. Thankfully as the sun rose on Sunday there were clear blue skies.

A similar route to Saturday had us fording the Church Lane lake again. It was much deeper this time. Pedaling through had us dipping more than our toes in the cold water.

It wasn't too bad really, and was quickly forgotten once the tea came out at the bus stop.

Considering how much rain we saw last week, a mostly dry thirty mile weekend was better than I had expected.

Only six more sleeps until we can do it again.

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