Obsession, compulsion.

Regular readers will know why I started cycling in adulthood. And why I continue to do so. There has been a development.

Last night whilst riding through sleety rain, I realised it has become an obsession, I have a compulsion to get on my bike.

My evening rides are getting longer, at first they were around ten miles, taking about an hour. That has creapt up to fifteen miles and around an hour and forty minutes. I pass people multiple times as I complete my loops.

I could feel the cold creeping into my hands and feet, but I was still close to heading off into the night, instead of turning for home. I couldn't of course: it was 19:30, any direction would have been unlit; not great with such poor road surfaces, and I had commitments waiting for me at home.

My cycling clothing is now reasonably good at keeping me comfortable, unless it gets really bad.

The recent very cold weather has meant a few missed days, it's hard to have to accept I shouldn't go out. I look at the weather reports and out of the window a lot during the day. Trying to decide if it's okay to get on my bike. There are so many hills around me, I can't pick a flat route. And besides, I came off last week on a level road. It was the steep camber that caught me out.

I set myself goals to cycling further, more often in 2021. It has to fit into the time I have, so it's not going to be ultra distance. The likes of Mark Beaument haven't got to worry about their records being broken by me. I'm going to buy his book about endurance riding, I have read Trevor Lund's book - North to Alaska - about his ride up the America's. And have just started Quondam by John Devoy about his journey through Africa. I definitely have the bug for long distance rather than speed cycling, although I have looked into racing. But that might take up too much time, travelling to the venues across the country isn't going to be possible, even without Covid restrictions.

The charity ride in June for Mind will be partially accompanied by two members of Moof IT cycling club, I'm really looking forward to that. You can sponsor me here.

 

Walk around a golf course

The weather forecast was for another very cold start to Sunday. I messaged Matt late on Saturday to suggest a 9 am meeting instead of 8.

I prepared by donning many layers, and wrapping my feet in cling film before pulling on my socks. My efforts were wasted, the lock on the garage door was frozen solid. I tried a few things to thaw it, but eventually gave up.

I couldn't spend the day without exercise so I grabbed my camera bag and went for a walk. A few minutes away from me is the Surrey National golf course. There is a fairly well maintained path so I knew it wouldn't be too treacherous.

Here are by favourites.

  

I'm really enjoying walking around my local countryside looking for inspiration. 

When is it not okay?

I use Aperture to catalogue and do basic editing of my pictures. Unfortunately Apple have stopped development of it and when I update the macOS I won't be able to use it.

I started looking for an alternatives; the Adobe suite would be ideal, but it's too expensive for occasional and basic use.

There are many free applications, Darktable is well reviewed. Once installed it was too difficult to use, I had to search youtube for even basic how-to's. It has to be the least intuitive piece of software I have ever used. You should be able to at least get started and do basic tasks without the use of google. I gave up; I'm sure if enough time was available I would discover incredible results.

I have Affinity Photo for more advanced editing, again I couldn't justify the cost of Photoshop.

I am now using Luminar 4 to import and edit my work, so far I'm impressed. Youtube has taught me about some of its many features, but I worked a lot out for myself. It uses AI, (artificial intelligence) to speed up some processes. I still do the basics, but I can now do much more than I could before. 

This has lead to a dilemma; how much manipulation is too much? I want the results to look natural, this technology can allow massive changes to be easily achieved. Take the next two pictures for example. The first is from Aperture, with the sky over exposed. When I took the picture there was more cloud detail. The second image was the result of Luminar AI making the sky easy to replace. It's not what I saw at the time, I added a stock example.

Is the second picture too much? 

If I upload it to Instagram, Facebook, or my website should I label it as manipulated?

Thinking about it now, I could have taken a second picture, exposed for the sky, then combined them. Would that have been more valid?

A new year

As the new year settles in I look forward with positivity. It's too easy, almost habitual to expect the worst. This has meant inaction, being too afraid to attempt anything, convinced it will fail. 

Not this year.

What does 2021 have in store? 

More cycling, I have a desire for longer distances. How far can I go? 

The 100 mile challenge I set myself to raise money for Mind.

I hope that a couple of projects will mean a focused approach to photography. It's a watershed year, where I decide the direction it's going to take.

The walking photoshoots I did brought a lot of pleasure, they were a refreshing opportunity to slow down. 

This year will be one when I try to prioritise myself, consider my needs. I'll still be there for family and friends. Hopefully they will follow my growth.

Looking back at 2020

I'll try to avoid the obvious topics for this year, except to say the four months of furlough did have some upsides for me. I lost weight, some may say I didn't need to. But I feel so much healthier and fitter now. 

It was difficult at first, I don't like to change my routine. I had plenty of time to myself, I know for others this aspect was harmful. But I needed it, being on the bike every day gave me space. 

Another change was talking, or writing about my depression. This blog became a way to more easily express myself. Family, friends and work have been great, I know they are there for me. They would have been in the past; if I had spoken about what was going on. 

I'll look forward with positivity, I'm better able to deal with the inevitable ups and downs

I want to build on this progress. And help others to move forward if I can.

I hope that for you 2021 will see positive change.

Pre-ride walk

The weather has changed during the last few days, it's gotten drier but colder. Too cold for me to want to ride far from home, so I kept to my local 15 mile route. I'm still on holiday so have been riding between the rain showers. As the chances of getting wet diminished I used the spare time to go for a walk with the big camera. Lately when on the bike I tend not to stop for pictures. The extra control and quality I get from my main camera has been missed. It's way too heavy to carry on the rides, and I don't want to risk damaging it. You could describe this post as the view from the saddle, if I had a pro camera with me.

The last time I did this was with the Caterham Photography Society, in March 2018.

This post is going to be very picture heavy so prepare for some scrolling.

it's a small world, the top of a fence post

Never far from thoughtlessness. 

Garage slowly being reclaimed

flint animal

serpent branch

the summer remembered

a long way from home

St Lawrence church, built in 1095