Conkers

Saturday saw a big change in the weather. It was very cold yesterday, frosty grass and cold feet. Matt was back from his trip to Japan so we cycled to the Tudor Rose tea room in Westerham for breakfast.

Regular readers will know I'm not one for lots of words, Matt's the writer after all.

I can remember he said he was on his own for the weekend and didn't know what he was going to do. I suggested he just sat back and chilled out. He thought maybe some decorating was likely.

We parted company near Botley with a plan to cycle to Godstone today. Then I got the dreaded abort text. And this morning an explanation; Matt's front room was to be redecorated.

The forecast was for rain today, when I looked out of the window it had rained overnight but it looked okay. I didn't go far, cold wind and rain does temper motivation. But it did give me the chance to take pictures, my other hobby.

Only a week of work until I can go cycling again.

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darker mood

I had an idea for a darker photoshoot for a while. My usual style is what you might call bright and light. I wanted to use more dramatic lighting with an edgy theme.

I considered an outside shoot, but I didn't find a location I was happy with. It had to be somewhere I could control the natural light or modify it either with reflectors or flash. Without an assistant this can be difficult. Maybe I'll try a shoot with an assistant next year.

Now that autumn is here, outdoor shoots are much harder, it's cold and likely to rain. The theme of the shoot was moody, not cold and unhappy.

In a studio I can work slower, more deliberately. I don't have to worry about bystanders and equipment, bags etc are safe. There is always somewhere for the model to change, this can be a big problem and consumes time when you're out and about.

Natasha arrived well prepared. There is always a get to know you period when working with someone new. I meet her at the local station, so by the time we reached the studio everything was relaxed and the shoot flowed really well.

The studio, Murder Mile was darker than I had expected. The flash system had modeling lights so there was no problem focusing. It did mean the lighting was very controllable. I had planned to use two lights at a time and gels, but in the end I used one light for each set with either a ten inch reflector or beauty dish. Keeping it simple was definitely the best way to go. I was able to just light Natasha with the background almost black. Most of the outfits were also black; but shiny so standing out from the background wasn't a problem. As I edited them a realised a lot could be better converted to black and white.

Looked great in colour too

The studio had a cage, it was too heavy to move and was a bit hemmed in but we couldn't resist using it. It did mean full length shots were out; I think it still delivered.

The exceptions were the sparkly dresses. Treated to the same lighting they remained in colour. See above and below.

And the coat Natasha arrived in. It was too photogenic to ignore.

My wife saw the pictures and remarked how different they were to my normal style. Reinforcing how successful the shoot had been.

I am so pleased with what we achieved, I'll be returning to the studio, with Natasha again.

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There's nothing else to compare

As I got ready to go cycling this morning the radio started playing Can't take my eyes off you by Andy Williams. Marcia, my wife, knew what was coming; I turned to her and started singing. And as I had hoped, she started laughing, shook her head and covered her ears. I'm not a good singer so I can't blame her. This always makes me happy, so riding on my own with a chilly start didn't seem so bad.

Even better, as I walked downstairs I blasted out the chorus and I could hear Marcia laughing again.

Then when I got on my bike it was brilliant, I was in a very good mood.

I stopped to take a picture, even the sun rays were pointing in my direction.

Then at the bottom of a hill near home I saw how nature tries hard to overcome adversity.

I'm guessing no-one planted the sunflowers, they survived all by themselves.

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I want to ride my bicycle

I'm on my own while Matt travels the world for the next two weekends.

To go out or stay in and if I do go out, where to go; are the questions I ask myself in this situation. I nearly always get out on the bike with only a little wavering. Except if it's raining, and cold. So I stayed inside and wrote this blog watching the wind blow the rain nearly horizontally across the garden.

I went out yesterday and it was great weather; I was looking forward to the same today despite the forecast. Hence the title of the post; I want to ride my bicycle.

A quick internet search suggests the lyrics could mean almost anything you want. The world wide web can appear to be just a collection of strongly held opinions on every subject. Most are vehemently supported and vigorously defended. To the point that a discussion can quickly degenerates into pointless personal attacks. I rarely post my opinions, it's just not worth the hassle of justifying them to potentially closed minded people who hide behind their computer's. There are only a few people with whom I would share my thoughts; I know them personally, and we have discussed our views face to face in the past. Most of the time I just move on.

It is a shame that a tool putting most of human knowledge at the fingertips of so many causes so much division. Discussions become polarised faster than face to face exchanges are likely to.

The internet can be a force for good against injustice, it's why some countries either censor or block access to it.

It can also bring people together, in a way not possible before.

“Look after yourself and each other” 

-- Jerry Springer

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Barriers

I was on my own this morning, it meant my mind wandered as the miles passed under my wheels.
I was headed for the churchyard, the long way. I needed quiet roads, you can't switch off but you can chill out. Nearing the end of the lane I came across a fallen tree, it completely blocked the road.

I had a choice, try to pass through or under it or turn around. It wasn't too difficult to pick my way through and I was quickly on my way

It got me thinking about life and the many barriers we face. They aren't all physical.

Some are for good reason, rules and laws are there to protect us and set limits.

Then there are those set by people to bar entry or achievement of others.

Both of these forms of barrier can be challenged if they are unfair or discriminatory, people can do it on their own or get together in groups. It's not easy but we do live in a country that allows it. I'm thankful for the struggles of others who have ensured this is the case.

The hardest barriers to conqueror may be those we create ourselves. Those voices that say we can't do something, or we don't deserve it, we're not good enough. I have many and each one I struggle with almost daily. It's tough because I don't talk about them, I don't want to be a burden or bother people. There is a worry I will be judged; damn it's that voice again. Everybody is the same, I guess some deal with it better.

I try not to allow myself the choice to turn around or give up when faced with a barrier; I force myself to attack it head on. My photography is proof of that, and a way to remind me what I can do. Meeting a new person isn't easy, a photoshoot is normally just the subject and me, I get more than just pictures from the session. They show me the voice that says don't do it can be silenced, at least for a while. Each time it gets easier to quieten or ignore it. The barrier gets a little smaller.

With the loud one silenced I can hear the other voices that says I can, I deserve it, I am good enough. Why are they so small and quiet most of the time?

With each victory over the louder voices my goals become a little more achievable, it might still be a struggle.

But it is possible.

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misty morning

All week rain had been forecast for today, but as is often the case the reports changed and it was dry this morning. As I left the house it was a bit misty, so lights were needed for the first time in many months.

We met as usual at the green, it was a little later than normal and the mist had thickened to dense fog. The extra traffic and poor visibility meant the best option was the slow way to the bus stop. We were passed by a few other cyclists, surprisingly a lot of them had no lights. Worse; a lot of cars either had no lights or just the parking lights illuminated. They loomed out of the fog and disappeared very quickly as they drove away.

We watched them from the bus stop and discussed the apparent dumbing down of the general population. When we were younger, it was rare to see someone without their lights on in poor weather, adult cyclists were mostly road based and always stopped at red lights.

Away from cycling, no-one is to blame for what happens to them, they would much rather abdicate responsibility to others; the government mostly. People are overweight so we get the sugar tax, NHS funded weight loss surgery and all the other schemes that mean people can say, it's not my fault. If you are taking responsibility, and making changes yourself, I salute you. People weren't forced to start smoking. What is the world coming to?

Not much much else was said, the rest of the day had to start. Just the picture to take for the blog. Always a creative challenge when we are at one of our regular locations.

As we prepared to leave a cyclist arrived and sat down beside us. This doesn't happen very often, a guy on a recumbent once stopped for a chat, and Dawes Galaxy as we called him was a semi regular visitor. Most Saturdays he cycles from Biggin Hill to his mum's in Walligham, often stopping at our bus stop. It's weird to think, just after we leave, someone else is there. An new member of NVL?

He left and shortly after so did we. Hopefully tomorrow will be clearer, maybe we can cycle further.

Misty morning, a less well known Bob Marley song. Why do radio stations only play two or three of his records, over and over again?

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