Into the light

This year has seen many changes for me. I've written about some of them: challenging myself to ride more. Opening up about my depression, becoming vegan. 

I've become more passionate about safer cycling, the environment and cutting pollution, advocating for less driving and air travel. 

Talking to Matt one Sunday in November caused me to realise there are others. 

My attitude to cars and motorbikes has changed, the subject Matt mentioned. He would say "once you are in the car, it's just a steering wheel and a dashboard". I'd reply with, "it's more than that"; not any more. I see a big, noisey car or motorbike and think, what's the point of that? A smaller engine will be better. Who needs so much extra capability and cost? They are driven faster and more aggressively, killing around 1800 people every year in the UK. I was queuing and the driver in front of me couldn't wait for the other drivers to move, so she drove onto the pavement, despite there being people walking along it. They had to get out of her way.  There is little deterrent to law breaking, e-scooters have speed limiters. Why not motor vehicles?

Seeing things differently felt like having blinkers or a filter created by the media and successive governments had been removed. I was in the light.

 

I see people spending when they don't have to, or more than they need.

A case in point are wood burners, everyone seems to want one. Why? Most have central heating, burning wood increases pollution. We should be looking at alternatives to gas and oil powered systems, not going back to worse setups.

There is a push from manufacturers to sell SUV's; very few people need them. They are heavy, and are more dangerous to other road users.

Phone providers want you to upgrade every year. This creates so much waste.

In fact the whole tech industry is built on replacing everything as often as possible. The television I have is great; will I really notice any improvement if I go to ultra definition as Sky and Samsung etc tell me I should? And does it need to be bigger? 

The mines, almost all located in central Africa, exploit children or pay for devastating wars to provide the raw materials for the tech you take for granted. And throw away when the next version is released.

 

Matt had to service his bike recently, and winced at the bill. He is riding more than he use to, so parts will wear out faster. But he thought for a moment about buying a new bike instead. Various mechanics have given the same advice in the past. It's incredible that this seems to be the standard thought process. Write off the whole bike because the chain, some sprockets and bearings need repairing. They are service items after all.

Growing concrete

 

This week a radio station reached a new low. Have a look at the interview. It got worse, they went on to defend themselves. I couldn't find the interviews other than on twitter, unfortunately that means more views for their stream. But you do get to see the replies.

The media is letting us down.

It started with telling people shops had bare shelves which led to everyone buying as much toilet paper as they could; creating shortages that likely weren't as wide spread as it seemed.

We've had sporadic reports about various items many times since; recently it was fuel. This caused chaos for over a week, the situation was much worse than it would have been had everyone not been told to panic.

My main focus is usually how active travel; cycling, walking and safer streets is reported and it's influence on the public. But over the last two years I have dispaired at what they have done.

They amplify monority opposition to any scheme that doesn't prioritise motor transport. Worse is the proliferation of anti cycling/active travel articles. Or what could be seen as anti motor transport protests. See link. No climate emergency? Worse was his justification of driving into protestors. The way this was reported buy other media outlets seemed to support him. Are we saying protests can only be about subjects the media support, and must not cause any disruption if not?

Then there is advertising, I've noticed an increase for cars; especially SUV's. Cars are getting bigger, and the biggest are gaining a larger share of new car sales. It doesn't make them much better if they are electic or hybrid, we need less cars and the ones that are needed have to be smaller. The move to electric will add to the problem of blocked pavements. My wife and I can't walk around our local streets; her wheelchair is too wide for the small amount of space left for us. We would have to walk in the road. Trailing cables to charge cars will increase the barriers we face.

The ads always show empty city streets or people driving in the countryside. Both are not reaslistic, they don't show the reality of endless queues, aggresive and dangerous driving, and the hopelessness of building more roads and packing to accommodate them.

Investment in active travel and public transport is where the money should go. It shouldn't be cheaper to drive or fly. Other countries are doing better, France for instance. Paris has built much more infrastructure for safer cycling. It has banned domestic flights where a train service exists; what did the UK do? Cut the aviation tax on domestic flights, making train travel even more expensive in comparison. And extended the freeze on fuel duty rises. The eleven years this has happened could have provided £50bn to pay for schools, the NHS and many other struggling areas.

Me time

I had a couple of days off work this week, and instead of going for long rides I decided on a change of pace.

Don't get me wrong; I acknowledge when I'm on my bike it's me time. But lately I worry about overdoing it, or relying on it too much.

As luck would have it I was contacted about a photography project that would need a meeting to discuss. This was arranged for Thursday morning in London, I got home with only time for short ride. The evening was spent watching television with Marcia. Not having to keep an eye on clock was great.

Friday was wet in the morning, so after going shopping I went back to bed for a while. When I woke the sun was out, so another short ride was completed. Followed by a relaxed evening.

It was all change and the same on Saturday; I went out despite heavy rain with my club. There was only five others who braved the weather. One wanted a T2 pace so he headed off on a short ride to a cafe. That left me in a group of five T3's up for an adventure. It alternated between heavy rain and light showers. Another challenge to overcome.

I only felt cold when we stopped to attempt a bike repair. Austin hit a pothole hidden by a big puddle. 

We weren't able to fix it so cut the ride a little short. The spoke had broken away from the hub, so the wheel was not straight. He made it back at a reduced pace.

About five miles from home the sun came out. It would have been nice if it had been a few hours earlier, but we now have a great shared experience.

Sunday morning the rain was lashing down onto the kitchen roof, I messaged Matt suggesting we meet later. His reply meant I thought I'd be on my own for the afternoon ride. But another text as the weather improved resulted in a ride to Westerham and a chat over coffee. Happy days.

Planning future memories

I found a video on youtube about depression. And why it might be on the increase.

Here is a link to it. Watch it and come back to this page.

It got me thinking.

I have family and friends, I have a support network, I have a great employer. They all contribute to an environment that very much includes me.

But; I still feel lonely. I still feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. The responsibilty of looking out for others.

It's not new, I've been like this for a very long time, much longer than I realised.

It's not all of the time, there are periods when I feel great.

Other times it feels like I have too much to do.

I have always had a feeling of not quiet belonging, those around me would have had no idea. Why would they? I was part of their group, and they were inclusive.

The last two years have allowed this thoughts to grow, become more prominent. I have gotten better at dealing with it though.

But it doesn't stop those dark days: when I back away from social situations, convince myself it's just me and listen to the voice that says no-one would understand.

I can't blame social media for it all, I don't use it to replace relationships. If anything it helps me keep connected with people. But it doesn't build shared experiences, memories that can be relived.

They are what really count. Talking about old times is when I know I'm in a good place, surrounded by good people. Planning future memories with those groups lifts me. 

It's what social media can't do, for me at least. And maybe for most people. It doesn't fulfil a need. It gives the illusion of sharing and building memories, that can feel inclusive. But ultimately they have happened without a wider group participation. You're just seeing a snapshot through another's eyes.

You can't beat face-to-face experiences. Going into winter this will happen less often, I cope until the warm spring and summer days return.

If you're reading this and thinking; what can I do? Just continue to be supportive as you have always been. This is very much a window on what is sometimes going on inside my head.

Thanks everyone, looking forward to creating memories.

Mudguards

 

I've had them on the mountain bike, although none are attached at the moment. They broke and were not replaced. When I did have them their placement was high above the tyres, keeping my bum dryish, but not much else. Thinking about it now I could have saved money; I just needed two cheap solutions. An ass saver as they are called; clips under the saddle, sticking out about six inches. Plus a flexible guard between the fork brace and the crown. My saddle bag replaces the ass saver, I could cut up an innertube for the front.

It's a first for the road bike. These are much closer to the tyre, and should keep me dryer by cutting the amount of water hitting my shoes and back. They also reduce the spray thrown up behind me at following riders.

I only had time to fit the rear one before the club ride last weekend. They do increase aerodynamic drag, I'm not sure by how much. The past few weeks have seen many injuries, you can read previous posts about them. For this reason I intended to join the T3 group, at the last minute I changed my mind and chose T4. 

Let me explain. The rides are graded to allow for different fitness levels, the higher the number the stronger you need to be. It usually means a longer distance at a higher pace, maybe no cafe stop for 4 and above. I have been moving between the two groups for a while, depending on which was running and how I felt.

I'm not sure if the extra resistance was the problem or the battering my legs have received lately. But after about forty miles I was being dropped on some climbs, something that rarely happens. No-one is left behind, so I was able to catch up as they slowed at the top. I was wearing thicker gloves that made opening food on the move more difficult. I normally eat every hour, but not this time. I was eating if we stopped to discuss the route. Energy levels were low when I asked about a cafe break. Eventually we found a burger and chips type place. The coffee was good and supper hot. It meant that we had to drink slowly. This allowed me to scoff all the food I had left in my bag. I felt much better for the last twenty or so miles.

I fitted the front section during the week, and rode with the T3's on Saturday. I felt much better, it doesn't appear that I have added too much extra drag to the bike. 

A change of routine on Sunday, Matt's bike is with Ross Cycles, I went for a ride with my club again. A loop out around Brands Hatch. Pretty windy, but not cold; the sun even made an appearance.

What do I think of the mudguards?

They were fiddly to fit, initially either too close and rubbing, or too far away from the wheel and flapping about.

Longer versions that further reduce spray are available but wouldn't fit under the brake calipers.

I'll see how they stand up to being used, and the level of protection provided.

And of course there is the question of wind resistance.

They cause the wheels to catch side winds more. So on Sunday it was a little trickier on the more exposed lanes.

A fairly mundane post this week; the change to more wet and generally grey weather always affects my mood. 

I still want to ride my bike, but everything needs a little more prep. Extra layers, can mean being sweaty, not enough and I'm cold. Drying the cloths in time for the next outing can be a problem. And then there are the bikes. I'm determined to look after them better, I use to just leave them in the garage when I got home. That was okay when I only did 30 to 40 miles a week. My average is now 150 which means they are wearing out parts much quicker. At the very least I now dry the chain before leaving them. At the weekends a bit of bike TLC is needed, even a clean. I could spend more time on the trainer, out of the weather, but it is very boring. Maybe I'll take the iPad out there and watch youtube.

15:17

The title was to be my start time for the BEC CC hill climb on White Lane, my first proper race. Albeit only a short one.

The last hill climb I did was in 2019, read about it here. This was a charity fundraiser so no pressure.

It's a tough hill.

I plan to compete in more events next year. There are a number of local Time Trials that look appealing. Whether this will result in me improving my bike or buying a new more specialised one I don't know. Cost will be a factor, so it may be upgrades for marginal gains as the professionals say.

Unfortunately the gentle ride on Saturday didn't end well. I was nearly home, having ridden at low intencity when I came off on some wet leaves.

I'll spare you the gory pictures of my knee and hip. I woke up on Sunday with a stiff hip. I could pedal but applying max force really hurt. The road bike had a bent gear change so it was unridable. I went to meet Matt on the mountain bike, gently again. See previous post.

So my competitive debut will have to wait until next year.